Marriage: And Two becomes One

Marriage and the two becomes one , how beautifully the line is decorated for the two souls.

“To have and to hold from the day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish and obey, till death do us part.”

These are the lovely words that are spoken by the priest on the nuptials at the church. Marriages are auspicious ceremonies in every culture. It is a ritual that bonds two people in the purest form of relation and eventually two families. For any person, this is one of the major decisions of their life. Choosing the right partner is essential as the very person is supposed to be our backbone for our life( Not just physical support, but this person should be there for us emotionally and mentally).

Genesis 2:18, 21-24 (KJV) of the Bible, a beautiful verse which describes the making of woman, Eve. Adam was created by God as a lone creature. Seeing his loneliness, God put him to sleep and from a part of his ribs, created Eve. This explains why people in a marriage are referred to as better halves of each other or soulmates! Thus, Adam got Eve and led to the evolution of present men and women.

Not only the Bible, but every holy book in this world shows marriage as an auspicious and sacred ceremony. Marriage is highly valued and regarded as being half of one’s faith, according to a saying of Muhammad. This is called as ‘Ibadat’ (devotional act). Hindus see this ceremony as ‘Kanyadan’ where the father gives his daughter. Parsi weddings are known as ‘Lagan’ and they take place at the Parsi Agiary or Fire Temple. A Buddhist marriage ceremony is secular in nature and takes place in a registrar office or one of the few Buddhist temples licensed as a legal marriage venue.

Marriages should always happen for the cause of love, be it arranged or love. People being tied in this relation should remember that the ceremony is possible only because of both. So for the relationship to prosper in a glorious manner. Both should do their part. Be it in the case of trust, love, or work. They are faces of the same coin. Without one’s interest, the relation won’t stay long. Just as a quote goes,

“Being married means giving it your all to your spouse daily. Even when you don’t feel like it and even when it hurts. It means looking beyond yourself and giving to them because they are a part of you.”

The two people tied in this relation should remember that they are two different persons with different personalities, emotions, hobbies, etc. They should not try to alter the other but understand, adjust and accommodate the good in the other. The wrongs should be pointed out, but never be forced to change. Remember that the person has been living with the character before meeting you. So if you suddenly go and restrict the activities, they will feel claustrophobic. They would move away from you. Instead, let them know about their wrongs,. Give them time. If they love you, eventually they will change. Never forget to appreciate the small steps they take towards changing their character.

“Kimsvin mitram grihasthah? Who is the friend of the householder?

Bhaarya mitram grihasthah. One’s wife”

The above question was put to Yudhishtira, the elder Pandava brother by the as quoted in the Aranya Parva of Mahabharatha. This stands out as the solid proof for the Hindu belief that friendship between a couple is best for a perfect union. Just like in true friendship, we respect, trust, love, care, accept and support our friends irrespective of any differences. These aspects we should bring to our marriages. Couples shouldn’t compete whose parents are important. They should see that both parents are equally important to them. This is one of the fundamentals of a happy marriage.

Just like marriages are widespread, so is a divorce in today’s era. Divorce finds its basis in Biblical sources dating to the time when Moses received the Commandments and developments in the Christian world after the standardization of the Bible. Islam however, practices ‘talaq’, ‘mubarat’ and ‘khula’. After the coming of Acts, divorce in Hindu marriages is easily possible, though they are avoided in most cases due to society. Buddhism accepts divorce as an unhappy marriage that may cause suffering. It is seen as compassionate action.

Before justifying divorce, what leads a couple there? Simple reasons – people’s ego, their low self-control based bad decisions, stubbornness, etc. As we know, consent or approval is necessary for marriage. But when marriages happen for wrong reasons, at wrong ages, it leads to complications. Families, instead of forcing a bond upon their children, should realize that the child has to live the life. Love can never be bought, it is built. The background of the groom or bride should be checked before marriage. At the same time, parents should listen to their children’s wishes too. Ignoring them can lead to avoidable problems in the future.

Be it any religion, culture or nation, marriage is the union of two humans. The parts of the soul coming together which were put to test on the journey. So let’s remember Buddha’s seven rules for a happy marriage:

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other
3. Let your partner win the argument
4. If you criticize, do it lovingly
5. Never bring up past mistakes
6. Don’t neglect each other
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled

Finally quoting the words of the Quran (7:189),

“I created you from one soul, and from the soul, I created its mate so that you may live in harmony and love.”

Also Read:
Love And Loneliness The Two Important Abstract Thing
An apology mail to survive the broken relationship
Quotes on love: trust me not at all or all in all (Part 1)
If Grass Can Grow Through Cement, Love Can Find You At Every Time In Your Life.